So my promise to blog this semester has obviously fallen through. I am sure that those who know me well are folding their arms in a smug told-you-so stance of smugness. What can I do but shrug and answer this just reprimand with my (apparently?) trademark smirk.
It’s true. I failed. Some weeks I legitimately failed. Some weeks I didn’t blog because I didn’t do much else. Such is the cycle of my insomniac life.
However, what is it that has inspired me to start blogging now? It is none other than a feeling like helium in my chest. Indeed, my voice is probably as high with giddiness as it would be on helium. Why, you ask? Well, it is hard to put into words exactly. It is a feeling of delirious accomplishment, of unutterable salvation. Pardon the seeming melodrama of my words, but melodrama only exists were true drama doesn’t. (People should in general talk more dramatically because life is dramatic enough to deserve some good purple prose. It isn’t dishonest or hyperbolic to say “life is a song”; it’s just good philosophy).
Maybe I feel this way because I just made an iTunes smart playlist that only plays songs I’ve listened to more than 5 times. Utter genius, thank you very much. Such. Good. Music. Just listened to Dark Night of the Soul by Loreena McKennit, She’s So High by Tal Bachman, I Am A Man of Constant Sorrow by the Soggy Bottom Boys, Us by Regina Spektor, Always by Switchfoot, Kashmir by Led Zepplin, and Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World. ALL IN A ROW!!!!!!!!
Yet, it is not only the playlist that makes me feel as I do.
What is this wry yet splendorous secret I hold? I think I can only express it by analogy. It is like a feeling of nostalgia because it involves looking back on this last semester with love. It is not nostalgia, because it is a feeling about how wonderful things are now. It is a spiritual feeling, because it is the feeling that God is good even in this life. It is a very worldy feeling, because it is the feeling that God is good even in this life. It is an ecstatic feeling, yet a little bit of agony, but the agony is ecstasy, yet a little bit of agony…
It’s like if you put together Loreena Mckennit’s Dark Night with Tal Bachman’s She’s So High!
Hm, maybe the music is getting to me.
But for real, what am I getting at? I feel like…. Read a poem I wrote a few months ago: here.
I swear, it’s not that I’m in love (although I probably am, since I usually am)! Its just that…. sigh…..
Hm, using images is working for me right now…..
I’ll describe what I’m trying to express only in images:
There is more where this came from.